Did you know that in New York, people can be NYU Graduates and still not figure out that six inches of space between two people seated in a three seat bench on the A train will not accommodate a 300lb man? Now, it's not that I won't move or give up my seat for someone else, it's the fact that it's always the fattest person in the car that makes a bee line for the seat next to me. It's simple physics folks, I mean, you wouldn't try to fit 30ML of water into a 20ml container, so why do you insist on forcing your way into a seat David Blaine couldn't magic himself into? Sometimes I think these people actually believe that it will be a comfortable trip if they wiggle their way into the seat.
Once, at 42nd Street a lady boarded a semi crowded train car. She forced her way into the seat between myself and another passenger. She wiggled back and I moved over as much as I could to accommodate her. She actually asked me if I could move over a little when it was clear that I couldn't anymore. I told her no I really couldn't and she started talking loudly to herself that people are inconsiderate and there was space and that "some" people are just nasty. Normally, I believe in the philosophy "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" but since she was making a point of being obnoxious I opened my mouth just as loudly for everyone to hear and said "I don't understand why people try to squeeze their way into spaces too small for them. I try to move over, but to some people it's not enough. Maybe some people should lose some weight and it wouldn't be a problem for them."
The woman looked ready to slap me, but instead said "You're not so thin yourself" (which folks, I know I'm not skinny by any means) and three people in the train chuckled. I smiled at her, which was really more of a grimace, but responded sweetly "I know I'm not Heidi Klum, but I don't try to fit a round ass in square seat."
It took a second, but the other passengers got the meaning and more people laughed. In the game of social politics, I won. Sad that I had to take it to that level, but sometimes (particularly after a long day), you have to fight the bully. The lady huffed for a few seconds but didn't say anything else. She gathered her two bags and exited the train a couple of stops later. Passengers who were still on the train from the onset of the drama looked at me as I shook my head. She had made all that fuss for a seat when she was only travelling a grand total of three stops.
I closed my eyes tried to forget the whole incident when something my mother had told me years ago came to mind "You can't argue with crazy." I guess not.
Drained out-edly,
Davi
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